I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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