There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
