pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
