They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize