my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
