What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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