We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
