New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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