you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
