Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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