He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize