Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
