why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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