I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
