Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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