margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
