So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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