I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
