had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize