so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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