WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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