No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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