She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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