You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm jealous of your bromance
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
