Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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