): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My vagina just recognized that song.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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