As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
