we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
