My nipple is on Facebook.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
