U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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