sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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