Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Randomize