Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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