So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
where are my eyebrows?
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