I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
