Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize