a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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