They should really pass out barf bags in church
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize