don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
