well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
