After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize