Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
