Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i came on her dog
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
