Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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