i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
