i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
