mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
