UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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