Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
