I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
