Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize