now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
The ass gains better be worth it
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
