i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
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I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
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But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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