she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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