i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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