i permit you to call me
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
